so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
