why do cheetos always look like penises
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
