How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
