That's when you crack a 10am beer
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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