all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize