just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
