OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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