Pants 0. Shit 1.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
