drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
