but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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