need another drink. this is the easiest way
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
