I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
