hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
