Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
