i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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