uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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