we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
