shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
