I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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