I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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