How'd it feel making her break her religion?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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