Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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