Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
