I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
