hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
is wine microwaveable?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
