Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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