I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
