Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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