as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she peed on how many people?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
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