her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
