She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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