We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
