so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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