smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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