Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
