I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
