It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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