found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
