If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
my god I love twenty year old dicks
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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