im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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