hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
