Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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