pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
