dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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