dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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