i'm lost and i look like a hooker
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize