I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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