Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
