talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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