If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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