Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
