she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
well you can't waste a boner
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
