Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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