did you get engaged???
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
