brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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