do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
