Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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