dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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