our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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