Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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